Saturday, January 14, 2012


I recently saw this on pinterest...
I'm not sure if the number is accurate, but it made me think about fear and its role in our journey.

When the seizures are here, fear easily grips my heart.  I have to work hard to keep it from swallowing me whole.

I become afraid of when a seizure will happen.
...afraid of not getting to him in time to make sure he is on his side and able to breathe.
...afraid of what permanent damage is being done when he's not breathing.
...afraid he will hurt himself when a drop or myoclonic seizure comes.
...afraid of the things I've read and what the future may hold for him.
...afraid of SUDEP.
...afraid of messing up on this diet and causing him to spiral out of control.
...afraid that the boy I love will hurt.

And even now, when the seizures are gone, I have to continue to work hard at keeping the fear of tomorrow from robbing me of the joy of today.

Today, I was able to make many meals for Ben and while I was cooking I listened to one of my most favorite authors, Max Lucado, speak on this topic.  My heart is overwhelmed with what I have heard.

God wants us to be fearless, to live a life of courage.

I need to listen again and write notes so I can refer back to hands were busy today.  But my heart and mind were soaking it in.  Lucado's books are easy to read.  I wouldn't call him the most dynamic of speakers, but the meat of what he is saying is worth listening to.  It was easy to listen and work.  Each segment is about 20 minutes or so.  Completely worth every minute.  I could feel my faith growing.  So if you are struggling with being fearless, being full of courage...take a minute to listen.

Click here for the overview of what fear is...Jesus is asking, "why are you afraid?"
Click here for the reason we never have to fear..."courage is birthed in the maternity ward of grace."
Click here if you are in a storm...the kind that makes it hard to sleep at night.
Click here if you are plagued with worry.
Click here if you are in the middle of a transition or change...maybe one that you never would have requested if given the chance.

I was only going to post one on here, but each time I listened to another one it held so much meaning for me that I just couldn't decide.

I'm working on being fearless. 
I'm reminding myself that God has said,

And while I was home, Leeon took Ben for a day of fun!  He got to run and play and do all things baseball.  All without a seizure in sight.  Why should I let the fear of the unknown ruin the joy of the miracle that is happening right now.  Thank you Lord for your mercy and grace...I still have so much to learn.


  1. Laurie~ Thanks so much for your encouraging words. Even in the midst of your storm, the Lord is using you to minister to others. I am one of them. I needed to hear this word today. Thank you for keeping your heart open and allowing the Lord to speak through you. Love you, friend, and am always praying for all 3 of you. :)
    Lisa Dickenson

  2. Laurie, just want to say...thank you.